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eTC19; st marg's; N.YP; eats edibles----------- find out more?
lAYOUTbrenda. steal and die.
liNKS
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
song playing : Westlife - We Are One
First, Heath Ledger. Now, Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett. It seems that celebrity deaths are rocking our news every year.
When I got to work Friday morning, my colleague/intern exclaimed "What the f..." ( he didn't complete the word ). So another colleague and myself were like "Eh what happen?" "Don't so early in the morning scold." "Michael Jackson die."
"WHAT? SERIOUSLY?" and I proceeded to read CNN. When someone so distant but yet well known has passed on, it's such an unreal situation. It is kind of sad that we start to appreciate the celebrity more when they have passed on. Isn't it a bit ironic? You only start to miss someone when they are gone.
The Mother and I were chatting over dinner just now. Somehow the topic was about relationships and she mentioned that at my age, it is better to be friends, go out in a group. Saying that we are not mentally and emotionally ready for such pain. In my own perspective, I find myself agreeing and disagreeing at the same time. But I just kept those thoughts to myself.
I guess it is how willing one wants to feel connected to someone else. Experiencing it so that they can become a better person somewhat. Of course it will hurt. Who doesn't fall down when we are learning? We didn't learn how to walk in one day. It took us many falls, and getting up on our feet again. We didn't learn how to love without being loved by others first.
Anyway, finally went for a well-deserved swim on Saturday. Quite pleased that I managed to swim the entire length without stopping halfway and splashing wildly. I guess my strokes are still somewhat in form. Now just to improve efficiency and stamina. I was swimming my very first freestyle lap after a long time. I realised that sometimes we need to go slow. I died halfway through because I was so focused on reaching the end as fast as possible, without caring two hoots about how my arms were splashing and not pulling the water correctly.
Deciding to take things slow actually has better results. I took a slightly longer rest, focused on the strokes and rotation. Reached the other side feeling exhilarated over the adrenaline rush. Whee hoo! And the bike ride home was eventful because I was speeding down and flying over the pavements. So it's like "WHOA whoa!" and "Ahhhhh!" I'm either going to be a reckless driver or a daredevil one.
2 more days with the statutory board and I'm out.
Two very different people too scared to get along.
I'm flying high at 10:45 p.m. |
Monday, June 22, 2009
song playing : nothing
This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen at the graduation ceremony of an American university where she was awarded an Honorary PhD.
"I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only 1 person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank accounts but also your soul.
People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter’s night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've received your test results and they're not so good.
Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre at my job if those other things were not true.
You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?
Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger.
Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.
It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and! our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the colour of our kids’ eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.
I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this:
Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived."
Something that someone e-mailed to me. I've been saying this many a times but I don't take the time to slow down and look out the window. Sometimes on the bus ride back, I gaze out the window, admiring the sky which has been streaked with orange. Another day has passed and I'm on my way home. Otherwise, I'm reading "The Other Hand" or snoozing.
So far, I think "The Other Hand" is quite a read and it has an interesting concept. I still haven't reach the part about The Incident. There was a part where a father died, the mother doesn't know how to break the news to their 4 year old son. It's cute but heart-wrenching for their son (who wears a Batman costume all the time) to not be able to understand the meaning of Death. It is hard to grasp the reality of it. You just know that the person isn't there any more, and you don't know if they would come back. Well, but that's your thinking when you're younger.
Looks like the flu alert is going to go up a notch, at the rate the cases are increasing. Darn, I haven't been taking my temperature at work for eons. In addition, the thermometer issued is kind of spoilt. And I need to find new routines for the gym.
I'm flying high at 10:42 p.m. |
Thursday, June 18, 2009
song playing : Kris Allen - On Our Way
Feels good to work out a sweat at the gym. Make use of my 5 free entries before the end of the month. I'm still considering if I should get the 3 month gym pass.
I finished reading The Zahir today. It made me re-think my concept of happiness, love, and life. The journey of the protagonist brought closure and peace within. The concept of marriage, the analogy of the rail roads. He mentioned that some marriages turn out as rail roads. Going the same direction, but they are apart. Priorities take over. Work, the kids. Struggling to make ends meet.
As I read the book, every thing made sense. It confirmed some of my thoughts and how we go through life somewhat blindly. In this society, it is difficult to go on a soul search or follow one's heart. As work progresses day by day, I start to appreciate the people around me better.
I find it heartening when one would rally around their friend in times of need. As I told Sammie, "Sometimes we build walls to see who cares enough to break them down." As we mature and face coming-of-age matters, I see how much we have grown from the giggly girls in polka dots. Deep inside, we are still those girls in polka dots. That is part of who we are. It doesn't matter where we are in life, as long as we are here for one another.
She looks up in the sky and wonders what she knows
I'm flying high at 10:54 p.m. |
Saturday, June 13, 2009
song playing : Lifehouse - Undone
The relativity of time is ironic. You think that the day is still far away. With a snap, it has arrived and I do not know what to say. I thought I wouldn't be affected but I guess it would be some time before I get used to it. These couple of weeks, I don't know. But I'm looking forward to interesting times ahead.
Nevertheless, I would like to think that people whom we meet has a purpose. When they have done what they ought to do, sometimes they leave so that we would not forget what they have taught us.
Every morning, I pass by the Departure gates of Terminal 2. Sometimes it is buzzing with people waiting to enter the gates. Most of the time I just walk on without taking a second look. There was once when I saw perhaps a mother-daughter biding farewell to one another. A simple gesture but to them would mean the world.
I like Terminal 3 Transit better than Terminal 2 Transit. It's more spacious and lively I find.
Due to taking on a wider job scope, I come across information which are still in discussion. I almost laughed out loud when I read something. It sounds exciting, but seriously, the person they suggested. I don't know... Welcome to my world.
Run today felt good. I have been eating way too much the past week, plus the dashed gym sessions by work. Grrr... plus buffet dinner on Thursday didn't help much.
I need to get out more.
Cause I can't tell you what you want to hear
I'm flying high at 10:39 p.m. |
Thursday, June 11, 2009
song playing : nothing
Gah... so frustrated because my Monday gym got dashed by work! During the e-mail correspondence, I was crossing my fingers that the external meeting would not happen or something. HAHA! So sadly I had to leave my shoes in the office. Been sitting in my director's car far too often. And I prefer going to people's offices to clarify instead of calling them on the phone.
Since then, the past few days and a couple of weeks, it has been non-stop racking of brains. Sometimes I wonder how I manage to get through the day. I find myself looking forward to the weekend. My long run, cleaning the house a bit, reading my books. Hee... now I'm buying books every month.
Bought 2 books from Harris. Gosh... I should go Terminal 3 Transit more often. It's MIND BLOWING. The design is so much brighter and lively. I'm over the thrill of Terminal 2. Hope to visit Terminal 3 more. Went there before the discount at Harris expired. Too bad they didn't have The Wednesday Letters. Maybe I'll check out the other book stores tomorrow. *crosses fingers*
Just started reading "The Zahir". Quite pleased with the buy. Now that I've began working, I can identify with some of the elements mentioned. Many a times, freedom is a word which is vague and hard to quantify. What exactly is the price of it and the tangibles?
I'm flying high at 11:26 p.m. |
Sunday, June 7, 2009
song playing : Death Cab For Cutie - Transaltanticism
The kind of nonsense I get myself into, and how I get out of them is very amusing. Most of the times, I'm too nice and suggest things which are slightly out of my league. Some would say, just go for the fun of it. But timid me sometimes say stuff out of being polite. The guts or courage to go through my word falls flat and would only be regained some time later.
It seems like all of us are beating a deadline. Be it for a social event, or work. I feel bad because when I heard the news, I was pumping my fists in the air while sounding not so excited on the phone. Not that I'm being mean, but really I'm not up to the task. That aside, it seems that there are several curve balls I need to handle.
Remember how despondent I sounded a couple of entries before? Questioning why I don't do races and stuff. Today I got my answer from my right knee. It's a feeling which I haven't felt in a long time. The tightness and a lull pain. It reminded me of the boundaries my knee can take. In addition, yesterday it was only a 15 minute run/less than 2km run. Perhaps I need to start doing my physio stretches and exercises again to strengthen. Gym also. Hitting the gym tomorrow with some of my Orientation colleagues. Funny how a transfer of furniture can bond people prior to Orientation itself.
Nevertheless, enough with the whines and complaints. The fact that I am able-bodied and I have the opportunity to do something which I love.
It's been a while since I've met up with anyone from poly. It is nice to hear that people do want to meet up even after all these time. There is only so much one can hold on to. People and situations are beyond our control. Sometimes I feel like an exasperated parent, telling a child to finish their food so that they can be big and strong. So that they would be able to achieve greater things and see the excitement. Every thing comes with a little pain. But at the end of it, when you reach the top of the mountain, would you be standing alone or with a group whom you can trust and call as friends?
It still pains me when I hear of such pessimistic thoughts by some. I know that I have no right to tell you how to live and learn. I'm trying to impart the essence that learning from your mistakes and others before is nothing to be ashamed of. There's only so much we can say or do. In addition, I don't like to force ideas upon people. I've done my part and if you crash and fizzle, can't say I told you so. But if you are willing to listen and learn, I'll be here.
The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how.
I'm flying high at 10:48 p.m. |
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
song playing : Mandy Moore - Wild Hope
One heck of a crazy week so far. I wrote on my FB that I'm feeling rather diminutive at work. Well you see, I'm rather involved with meetings and this often involves external parties. When the other parties give me their namecards, all I can do is be polite, accept, give a warm and firm handshake to introduce myself. Even if I had a namecard, I doubt I would give them out if I had a chance. It's too puny compared to the rest who are Directors and Investment Managers.
Times like these always make me wonder about the corporate race. Degrees does make the road slightly smoother, but I doubt I am prepared to study for it. I do not know at this point of time. What irks me is, why are lawyers so good looking and smart at the same time? One of the lawyers gave her namecard. I'm in awe of her credentials. No matter who you are, I think being able to speak eloquently and precise is a major plus point for me.
Funny because these few weeks, I have been seeing "grown up" versions of the people I know. They bear similar characteristics and then it fades away. When I make such mental notes and compare them to the actual person, then I start to wonder why this person decided to take this particular route when most know they are suited for that.
Orientation these past 2 days have been great. Especially going on the Foam Tender Vehicle Simulator and going for the real ride on the actual vehicle. Awesome stuff I tell you. Sadly it is restricted area and it is probably the last time I would do that. An orientation colleague was teasing me that I should be one of the first Airport Emergency personnel at the Firestation. Then they have to build a female toilet just for me. Hahaha... tempting but I shall stick to an office job for now.
Interesting e-mail from work today. Thank goodness I have a good camera phone. But I'm just pissed off with myself that I didn't take a short video or anything. Oh wells... working at the airport sometimes give you the latest update on celebrity arrivals. Haha... check out my Facebook for pictures.
Saturday, long run. Monday, gym in airport. Whee!
I'm flying high at 11:16 p.m. |