nAMEdorcas tan
eTC18; st marg's; NYP; eats edibles----------- find out more?
lAYOUTbrenda. steal and die.
liNKS
Saturday, July 5, 2008
song playing : Thirteen Senses - Gone
One of my defining characteristics is that I tend to be very random. Being random can have its perks. The other day while doing my rounds after the field, I decided to catch up this other girl so I could say hi to her. Anyway she was from my secondary school so yeah. Once you are a regular at the stadium, people get more friendly. Smile at others then you start chatting etc. It's weird that I feel awkward in social situations but I tend to smoke my way through. Oh wells...
Race was yesterday. I don't know what to feel. Yesterday I was feeling all over the place. I was very pessimistic and just beating myself up. It was a bitter sweet win. I was disappointed with myself and for losing the gap. I could feel the pressure and I crumbled underneath it all. It was a team effort but yesterday I didn't feel that my effort came through. It showed my abilities yesterday. 1.5km in 7.02 mins, 96th position out of the 39 teams of 4 runners. My leg of the race was the slowest in my team.
I appreciate what _ said to me in various pockets of time after the race. I almost went teary-eyed when _ told me not to be upset. I'm holding everything in and if someone says something, I sometimes lose it. _ also gave me some advice and it just made me see things in perspective. My heart felt lighter and it meant a lot coming from a race team mate, and the fact that we didn't know each other very well.
I won't deny that last night could have been the worst feeling I ever had in a long time. And it's also because I was really hard on myself. Always thinking that I could have done better. _ said something along the lines that we already won, so don't be upset. Yeah... I finally have a Gold medal, trophy to add to my collection of Silver. And a Nike bag to boot.
Don't worry about me. I felt a whole lot better after I wrote everything down. They say the sky is the limit. But Dorc says pushing yourself even when you don't have the capabilities is NONSENSE. Ha... that was something I came up with last night.
I miss you girls. Just so caught up with school work and my own activities. Ha... I think my body fat is going down. Now thinking back about the race, the feeling of blood rushing through your calves, your foot pounding the road. Quite a thrill ride actually. But it absolutely sucks when 2 persons overtake you during the finishing. That was what got to me last night.
It has been one heck of an eye-opener week for me.
I'm flying high at 08:07 p.m. |
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
song playing : Ricky Martin & Meja - Private Emotion
Funny that I haven't been able to complete what I scheduled for the weekend. I am watching too much TV. Especially Veronica Mars and Ellen DeGeneres. Gwahahaha... well apparently next week could be the last time that Ellen will be showing on Channel 5. Not sure if the season is ending. Ha... if it does end, I would be sad because I have nothing to de-stress. But on the other hand, it would give me 1 hour to actually finish up my school work. IB report is like jumbled up. Trying to write all the info I have into something nice. IFT should stand for I Feel Tired instead of International Finance and Treasury. Gah... report writing is fun but it sucks when you have information overload and you're not sure how to write into something that flows. Don't get me started on QM. At least Company Law is almost done.
So over this rather unproductive weekend, picked up a bit of culinary skills. Rachael Ray is just so fun. If Ellen cooked on her show, win already. I totally understand how Rachael cooks so easily. But it is hard when you cook and say what you are doing. The Mother left the task of cooking to me on Sunday. I could really do a decent meal but I'm just lazy with preparation and clean up. Hahaha... I spent like 30 minutes mincing the beef. More like mutilating slices of beef so that it vaguely looks like mosh. The Mother said she rather I spend 30 minutes mincing the beef than the rest spending 30 minutes to chew the beef. Yeah course if you don't cut the beef properly against the grain, it would turn out very tough.
So I cooked egg with onions, tomatoes and silver fish. Turned out tasty but presentation wise was a bit squashed up. After that, I cooked bitter gourd with minced beef. I was worried it would turn out like blah. But it didn't! Yeah to me! I hope the Mother would teach me more. Sometimes I'm lazy to help her prepare dinner. Hee hee...
On a side note...
I HAVE A RACE IN 3 DAYS!*screams*
Oh gosh... 1.6km. Oh gosh...
It's been a while since I felt so excited over a race. I mean, even during ISG or whatever, I didn't feel as much adrenaline. But this! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Maybe it could be that it's my last year to so-called compete. But I'm all right with it. It just feels very different this time around I suppose.
Heh... projects are slowly coming together though I just ranted that it is so argh. It's funny that on Monday, I was really happy when we were talking about running. I was so happy on Monday that I was grinning like a mad idiot during lecture and I couldn't stop grinning. Once a peak is reached, it definitely has to come down. I wasn't expecting it to be taken down in such a way. I guess things just happen which are not in my control. Dorc, please start to focus on the things which are relevant and things which you are able to handle. Sometimes you are thinking too much and going out of your league. Go Dorc!
I watched Sweeney Todd the other night. Gosh... I'm always choosing the wrong times to watch scary movies. Anyway I'm glad I watched it in the wrong player, or else I would have seen all the blood in its full glory. Revenge doesn't get you anyway. And please, open your freaking eyes before you slit someone's throat. It might turn out to be your loved one.
I should start sleeping earlier.
I'm flying high at 09:47 p.m. |